During an interview with Sandi Givens, the discussion lead to how women sometimes have a difficult time disassociating themselves from the things that they do. In other words, when a woman presents an idea to someone, and the idea is rejected or she's told it's not a very good idea; many women find it difficult to remember that it was the idea itself that was rejected and not the "woman". In other words, women become so closely attached to their ideas and the work that they do, that if something they've brought up is put down, it's often seen by the woman as a put down or reflection of themselves.
In order to help encourage "disassociation" between yourself and your work; or between yourself and your ideas; Sandi recommends creating and using a victory journal. You should purchase a nice notebook or blank journal - the nicer the better because you want to look forward to holding it in your hands and writing and reading from it!
On the very front page of your journal, the "cover page", you'll want to nicely write "Victory Journal". You could handwrite it, or you could make it fancier and use scrapbooking supplies or stickers. Whatever makes you feel good when you look at it.
In this "Victory Journal", you are going to write down your victories, wins, successes of each day. Do not ever write something and belittle it; in other words- don't say "I just had a good meeting today". The word "just" dismisses the victory and that is what we are attempting to overcome with a victory journal.
The other important thing to remember when writing in your victory journal, is your victories do not have to be earth shattering. In fact, it's about all the little things that make up your day that are considered successful. You could write that you met a deadline. You could include that you got your little ones off to school on time and without complications or arguments.
If you're not a big writer, there is no reason to write long winded explanations or anything. A victory journal is actually just as effective if you write your successes and wins for each day in a bulleted list - just short phrases that tell you what the success was.
When someone rejects a proposal or idea that you have come up with, you will immediately pull out your victory journal and read some of the successes you've had. You'll be able to see that you are not your idea; that the idea is not you - and that you have so many victories and successes that having one rejection cannot dismiss all of that goodness about you.
Janet Beckers is the host and founder of Wonderful Web Women An award winning on-line community recognized for generous and honest marketing advice for women on the internet
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